Be a Real Adult

Post on 26-May-2015

62 views 0 download

Tags:

description

A Kings College London Alumni Event. Baffled by mortgage jargon? Confused about pensions? Want to invest? A discussion of all the things that set us apart from our childhood! Good humoured, brutally truthful and truly educational! Proactive Paul provides insights into how the world of finance really works. It says copyright protected in the footnotes on Slide Share, but the dialogue is in the public domain so go ahead and use it if you like!

Transcript of Be a Real Adult

1

Be a Real Adult!

A whistle stop tour of

the world of Finance

7 Jun 2014

2

Socialism

You have two cows.

3

Socialism

You have two cows.

You give one to your neighbour.

4

Communism

You have two cows.

5

Communism

You have two cows.

The government takes them both and gives you the milk.

6

Fascism

You have two cows.

7

Fascism

You have two cows.

The government takes them both and sells you the milk.

8

Capitalism

You have two cows.

9

Capitalism

You have two cows.

You sell one and buy a bull.

You retire happily on the

earnings from your farm.

10

Venture Capitalism

You have two cows . . . .

11

Venture Capitalism

You have two cows. You sell all three cows to a Cayman Islands company. Using a letter of credit obtained from your brother-in-law at the bank, you buy back all four

cows with an option on a fifth.

The company Balance Sheet shows that you have six cows.

12

The American Corporation

You have two cows . . . .

13

The American Corporation

You have two cows. You sell one. You make the other one produce the milk of four cows. You then

pay a management consultant to tell you why your cow has died!

14

The French Corporation

You have two cows . . . .

15

The French Corporation

You have two cows. You go on strike. You blockade the roads.

You set things on fire . . . because you want three cows.

16

The Italian Corporation

You have two cows.

17

The Italian Corporation

You have two cows.

You have no idea where they are. So you decide to go & have lunch.

18

The Swiss Corporation

You have . . . .

19

The Swiss Corporation

You have five thousand cows.

None of them belong to you.

You charge the owners for

storing them!

20

The British Corporation

You have two cows.

21

The British Corporation

You have two cows.

They are both mad!

22

The Iraqi Corporation

You have . . . .

23

The Iraqi Corporation

You have no cows. Everybody thinks you have two cows. So they

drop bombs on you and invade.

You still have no cows, but you are now a democracy!

24

The Greek Corporation

You have two cows . . . .

25

The Greek Corporation

You have two cows which you borrowed from a French bank and

a German bank. You eat the cows. When the banks come to

collect the milk you turn to the IMF for help. You borrow two more

cows. You eat the two new cows! When the IMF comes for the milk

you go and get a haircut.

26

Be a Real Adult!

Who can you trust?

27

28

Be a Real Adult!

Who can you trust?

None of the above!

29

I am not authorised to give

Investment advice.

30

www.slideshare.net/proactivepaul