Post on 14-Dec-2015
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DEALING WITH DEALING WITH ANGRY CUSTOMERS, ANGRY CUSTOMERS, CO-WORKERS AND CO-WORKERS AND
RESIDENTSRESIDENTS
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Department of Adult Department of Adult EducationEducation
Lori Looney, Workplace InstructorLori Looney, Workplace InstructorBluegrass Community and Technical CollegeBluegrass Community and Technical College
164 Opportunity Way164 Opportunity WayLexington, KY 40511Lexington, KY 40511
859-246-6855859-246-6855
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TRAINING SESSION TRAINING SESSION OVERVIEWOVERVIEW
DISCOVER CAUSES AND GOALS OF DISCOVER CAUSES AND GOALS OF ANGERANGER
PLAY THE HOSTILITY GAMEPLAY THE HOSTILITY GAME DEFUSE OTHERS’ ANGERDEFUSE OTHERS’ ANGER PLAN RESPONSE TO ANGERPLAN RESPONSE TO ANGER CONTROL HOSTILE ENCOUNTERSCONTROL HOSTILE ENCOUNTERS
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What Angry People WantWhat Angry People Want They want what They want what theythey want want
They want helpThey want help
They want choicesThey want choices
They want acknowledgementThey want acknowledgement
I WANT….
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Why do people become Why do people become hostile?hostile?
Revert to primitive, Revert to primitive, instinctual behavior when instinctual behavior when threatenedthreatened
Control/manipulate Control/manipulate environmentenvironment
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The Rules of the Hostility The Rules of the Hostility GameGame
Taking The BaitTaking The Bait Rule 1: When attacked you will Rule 1: When attacked you will
respond defensively. respond defensively. Rule 2: When attacked you will Rule 2: When attacked you will
counterattack. counterattack.
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Other is ready to get angry
Reactive, sensitive, feels powerless, fearful
Feels depersonalized
Feels unimportant
The Hostility Game1. Initial Contact
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The Hostility GameThe Hostility Game
Bureaucratic (robotic, technical)
Triggered (takes bait)
Defensive (cold, terse)
Passive (unhelpful)
Impatient (lack of listening)
2. Employee Responses
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The Hostility GameThe Hostility Game
Increased frustration
Increased helplessness and fear
Increased aggression
Becomes more abusive
3. Other’s Reactions
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The Hostility GameThe Hostility Game
Defends or counter-attacks
More triggers
Less self-control
More aggressive or colder
Even less helpful sounding
Escalation to Crisis
Loss of Control
Violence Potential
4. Employee Reactions
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Beating the Hostility GameBeating the Hostility Game
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Overview of the Defusing Overview of the Defusing ProcessProcess
The CARP SystemThe CARP System CControl ontrol (get them to stop & listen)(get them to stop & listen)
AAcknowledge cknowledge (ID feelings)(ID feelings)
RRefocus efocus (agree to work on problem)(agree to work on problem)
PProblem-Solve roblem-Solve (ID problem; look for (ID problem; look for solutions)solutions)
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The Art of Self-ControlThe Art of Self-Control
Tactic 1:Tactic 1: Identify your triggers Identify your triggers Tactic 2:Tactic 2: Slow down your Slow down your
responsesresponses Tactic 3:Tactic 3: Take a time out Take a time out Tactic 4:Tactic 4: I’m better than that I’m better than that Tactic 5:Tactic 5: I’m not getting suckered I’m not getting suckered
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•Tactic 6: I won’t pay the price•Tactic 7: Put on their shoes•Tactic 8: Observing•Tactic 9: Preparing•Tactic 10: Humor•Tactic 11: Venting/not venting
The Art of Self-Control
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•Use Empathy Statements
•Usually short and to the point
•Allow the other to respond
•Use the broken record technique
•Don’t use the word “but”
•Don’t restate the obvious
•Be careful of your tone
•Don’t use “I”
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Control & AcknowledgeControl & AcknowledgeCountering Nonverbal Countering Nonverbal
IntimidationIntimidation The Stand-Up ShuffleThe Stand-Up Shuffle
– Confrontational PositioningConfrontational Positioning
– Less Confrontational PositioningLess Confrontational Positioning Right AnglesRight Angles
Side by SideSide by Side
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Control & AcknowledgeControl & AcknowledgeAssertive Limit SettingAssertive Limit Setting
Describe the Unacceptable BehaviorDescribe the Unacceptable Behavior
Request Behavior ChangeRequest Behavior Change State ConsequencesState Consequences
– Use Cooperative LanguageUse Cooperative Language– Use Enforceable ConsequencesUse Enforceable Consequences
Offer ChoicesOffer Choices
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Enforce LimitsEnforce Limits– Refer to the limits stated previouslyRefer to the limits stated previously– Request they comply with the Request they comply with the
consequenceconsequence– Offer further helpOffer further help
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Control & AcknowledgeControl & AcknowledgeTime-OutTime-Out
DisengagingDisengaging– allows for time for other to reflectallows for time for other to reflect– allows you time to reflect and regain allows you time to reflect and regain
controlcontrol– Use plausible reasonsUse plausible reasons– VariationsVariations
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•Planning for the Referral
•When does the supervisor want to be involved?
•What does the supervisor want to know about beforehand?
•When will supervisor be available for referrals?
•Any particular mechanics preferred?
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RefocusRefocus
Transition from dealing with Transition from dealing with emotions to dealing with the emotions to dealing with the actual problemactual problem
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Problem SolvingProblem Solving
What is Problem Solving?What is Problem Solving?– Arriving at a decision regarding what Arriving at a decision regarding what
you will doyou will do– Taking into account the rules and the Taking into account the rules and the
concerns of the otherconcerns of the other
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Telephone HostilityTelephone Hostility
Use a Stronger ToneUse a Stronger Tone Use a Very Quiet ToneUse a Very Quiet Tone Stress the More Obvious WordStress the More Obvious Word Use other Relevant TacticsUse other Relevant Tactics
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Intoxicated PeopleIntoxicated People
Work to TerminationWork to Termination Keep it SimpleKeep it Simple
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TRAINING SESSION REVIEWTRAINING SESSION REVIEW
DISCOVER CAUSES AND GOALS OF DISCOVER CAUSES AND GOALS OF ANGERANGER
PLAY THE HOSTILITY GAMEPLAY THE HOSTILITY GAME DEFUSE OTHERS’ ANGERDEFUSE OTHERS’ ANGER PLAN RESPONSE TO ANGERPLAN RESPONSE TO ANGER CONTROL HOSTILE ENCOUNTERSCONTROL HOSTILE ENCOUNTERS